


by the way, Krist is a girl. [English]

by RocknRoll1968



Category: Nirvana (Band)
Genre: Angst, English translation, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28021491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocknRoll1968/pseuds/RocknRoll1968
Summary: "The next song, it's about...about..." Actually, of course, Kurt wrote the next song a couple of years ago about Tracy, but today he doesn't give a fuck about the original meaning. "—about the love between two guys. It's really called "About A Girl", but you guys can pretend you don't care, right?" He laughs very quietly, somehow unnaturally, almost not even into the microphone, and adds, "Krist is a girl, by the way."This is an English translation of chemomustdie'sby the way, Krist is a girl., originally posted in Russian.
Relationships: Krist Novoselic/Kurt Cobain
Kudos: 6





	by the way, Krist is a girl. [English]

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [by the way, Krist is a girl.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27198523) by [chemomustdie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chemomustdie/pseuds/chemomustdie). 



> **Content Warning:** Scroll to bottom of fic to read content warning.
> 
> Translator's Note: I don't speak or read Russian; I used various online translation services and dictionaries to create this work. All errors are mine, not the author's!

Spotlights, blinding eyes. The crowd isn't really that big, but they repeat the words, lively, laughing, joyful, watching and waiting for the next song. The stage, the microphone, the weak sound—all infuriating, of course, but what to expect from a small club on the outskirts of Vienna? It's good that they even called. And Krist's bass, too: each note echoes in Kurt's head, like a bell. It's impossible to lead a show when behind you, just as hungover as you, he is struggling, forcing the poor guitar to squeeze out something that people can listen to. Hangover...his head is splitting. Krist is fine—he was so drunk that he doesn't remember anything, doesn't remember how they kissed all night long, how they smoked cigarette after cigarette, sharing it between them, doesn't remember...that they kissed at all. 

"The next song, it's about...about..." Actually, of course, Kurt wrote the next song a couple of years ago about Tracy, but today he doesn't give a fuck about the original meaning, "—about the love between two guys. It's really called "About A Girl", but you guys can pretend you don't care, right?" He laughs very quietly, somehow unnaturally, almost not even into the microphone, and adds, "Krist is a girl, by the way."

He speaks and in his heart hopes that not just half the audience, but also Krist himself, didn't hear. He speaks and then realizes that he blurted it out without thinking. He speaks, and here again, scene by scene, the events of last night flash before his eyes. And Kurt doesn't notice that he gets lost right in the middle of the song that he's been playing for five years, and pretty much knows better than everyone else, doesn't notice that he's mixing up the words, that instead of “I can't see you every night for free” he sings “I can fuck you every night for free”, doesn't hear the laughs and confused shouts of the audience. _We gotta finish this circus,_ flies through his mind, slides, disappears from his head. _That's it. End of the line. I can't even do a gig normally,_ follows the next thought.

"Guys," In the middle of the song Kurt breaks off, trembling hands grasping the neck of the guitar, "this is fucked up, I'm sorry, I'm going backstage. Excuse me, I'm a fucking moron. I should have drunk less yesterday."

He wanted to spit on stupid fucking Chad and shitty fucking Krist, and on the equally shitty crowd of people who actually spent a couple of bucks to get into a shitty club in a shitty city for a shitty band's concert, which also has a lead singer with a shitty hangover and Vietnamese flashbacks from last night. Which are also, of course, shitty. 

Kurt slams the poor dressing room door into the flimsy plywood wall with all his might, takes a couple of steps and falls exhausted onto the sofa. He takes out the last cigarette from his pack, lights it up, and inhales desperately, feeling the smoke completely fill his lungs. At least _this_ is something nice. 

_"Breathe in, breathe out, Cobain...nothing happened, right?"_

_“Yeah, right, nothing! You ruined a fucking concert because of your fucking infatuation!"_

_"The concert was crappy anyway!"_

_“It didn't get better because it ended! Even worse, it ended like this!"_

The stream of, I must say, schizophrenic thoughts is interrupted by Krist. As if nothing had happened, he tumbles into the small, smoky room, banging the doorframe, like he always does, with his already aching head, letting out a stream of familiar curses, and then crashes onto the sofa next to Kurt. 

"Are you stoned or what? Without _me?_ " He tries to awkwardly joke to defuse the situation. He really doesn't remember last night at all...how would he know that it's his fault that Kurt's acting so weird?

Cobain is silent and turns his head away to look at the fascinating trash can lurking in the corner of the room, his interest in it transparently fake. _Just don't look at Krist, just don't look, just don't look!_

"Jeez, Kurt! What's with you!" Krist shakes Kurt by the shoulder, forcing him to indignantly mumble something in response and ostentatiously turn even further away. "Ah, I get it! You're mad at me and you won't talk to me! You're giving me the silent treatment!"

"Mmm! Fuck off!"

"Ooo! Here it is, progress! So, the program, "Learning to Talk with Dr. Novoselic" is on the air! Today we have little Kurt on the air, five-and-a-half years old!"

"Krist! You are a monster, you know that?!" Kurt interrupts him mid-sentence, lashing out at Krist, almost shouting, his voice trembling and high-pitched, as is normal when a vocalist is hysterical, "I got loaded and you don't remember a damn thing! You damn drunk! I hate it! Why should I suffer, while you just drink?!"

"Kurt, Kurt, hush, hey," Krist rises after Kurt, who jumped to his feet, grabbing him gently by the wrists, so as not to accidentally touch the cuts that have yet to heal. Kurt tries to break free, hisses like a cat, twisting his hands, but Krist, for all his usual tenderness, holds tight and is definitely not going to let go.

"Let go! Asshole!" Kurt, not shy with his words, spits a wad of expletives at Krist, not caring at all about the consequences or how his words will sound. Finally, following a short fight that resembles little kittens battling each other, the brunette wins by catching Kurt, so much smaller than himself, by the waist. Both collapse on the sofa, springs squeaking pitifully in response, and Kurt, who has now surrendered completely, doesn't even resist when Krist is in no hurry to take his head off his shoulder. So they lie on top of each other, and all they can hear is their labored breathing and how both their hearts are pounding. Krist's hand unconsciously reaches out to Cobain's hair, he strokes it, and Kurt freezes like a rabbit in front of a boa constrictor. The action seems so ordinary, repeated a thousand times, so why is it now causing tremors throughout his body, as if this was the first time? 

Kurt feels Krist's gaze as he lies on top of him. How quickly he calmed down just from the presence of this magical man so close to him...no longer able to ignore the eyes that are boring into his, he raises his own. Gazes meet, and there is more in this look than words can say. Love, laughter, happiness, an explosive mixture of all the words that both of them think and will never say to each other. Kurt rubs his head against Krist's cheek like a cat. Krist understands everything without any further hints. He looks with endless tenderness, and suddenly comes up quickly and leaves a light, almost weightless kiss on Kurt's lips. He breaks away immediately—is it suddenly unpleasant? Does he regret it? But Kurt himself, with all his inhibitions abandoned, reaches out and draws Krist into an infinitely tender sweet kiss. They could kiss like this forever, and it looks like now they will do just that and nothing else, and won't care at all about the disrupted concert, disgruntled people, or the consequences. They have each other and they don't need anything else.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Content Warning:** Self-harm, cutting mentioned briefly
> 
> Translator's Note: If you enjoyed the story, you can share your appreciation with the author at the original post. :-)
> 
> P.S. You can hear Kurt and Krist talk about the new, improved meaning of About A Girl, [here.](https://youtu.be/p9DkZtGaT1g?t=1088)


End file.
